


Flying High / Staying Grounded

by Cadoan



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Also platonic Finn/Rey, Character Study, Drabble, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-26
Updated: 2016-01-26
Packaged: 2018-05-16 07:41:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5819968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cadoan/pseuds/Cadoan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Finn thinks about Poe and Rey and what they mean to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flying High / Staying Grounded

**Author's Note:**

> This is the result of me going to the cinema and watching the film for a fourth time. I had some feelings and I tried to make something out of it.

Before Finn left the First Order, before the met Poe and Rey and became a part the resistance, he was kind of disconnected to the people around him. The troopers he had closest to himself, like Slip and Nines, never really let him in too much. Many stormtroopers were like that, but Finn always kind of felt like an outsider. He held his head low, followed every order, did his job at sanitation and specialized in weapons and blasters when he had the time. The First Order demanded total compliance and obedience, so that's what he gave them. Then, on his first real mission, that night of the attack on Jakku, he made his choice. He would never kill for the First Order.

When he told Rey that no one had ever looked at him the way she did, he was being honest. No one had ever looked at him in a way that made him feel so ashamed of his previous life at the First Order. Rey looked at him and -believed in him, believed that he was a part of the resistance and believed that he could make a difference. Rey made him feel like he could do so much better than he had before. She believed in him so utterly and honestly that it hurt.

The one person that had seen him before that, truly seen him, had been Poe Dameron. Poe, however, hadn't looked at him in the same way. Poe had been, and still was, all encouragement and acceptance. From their first interaction and onward, Poe had done nothing but encouraged him and been there to touch him, to forget his worries.

It might sound odd, almost ironic, that the best pilot of the resistance was the one who made him want to run away from it all, and that it was the scavenger who deep down wanted to leave and go back to Jakku who made him understand that this fight was the most important one he'd ever fight and that he was precisely where he should be, in the middle of it all. Yes, Poe believed in the resistance fight more fiercely than anyone else, but he also made Finn think that another world was possible. He made Finn dream about the future, about a galaxy where the First Order was no more, and suddenly it became very tempting to ask Poe to fly him away to a faroff planet in the Outer Rim and never having to think about the First Order and its atrocities ever again. When they lied in Poe's bed, limbs entangled, it felt as if they were in their own, safe haven. Where he wasn't being judged, whatever he said or did. Where the First Order didn't exist. Where he had never been a stormtrooper. Where he could do no wrong. It was at those time where he could forget about the fight and just exist.

With Poe, the outside world didn't matter as much. When Poe was away on a dangerous mission, he didn't think about if the mission was a success or not. He only thought of Poe's survival, and how the most important thing was that the man came back whole and safe to him. He had never felt anything like that before. At one point, General Organa pulled him aside at one and looked him with a solemn seriousness in her eyes. " _I see how much you care for him,"_  she had said. _I_   _see how much he cares for you. I know what it means to have someone like that in a time of war. Don't let go of it._  Finn's first feeling had been somewhat akin to shame, as if he hd been caught doing something he shouldn't be doing, but when Poe had come back from mission with cuts and bruises, he forgot all of that. When Poe held him and whispered sweet nothing in his ear, he was so close to ask the pilot to run away with him, but he never did.

Rey, she was the one who made him realize that he had to fight for the world he wanted to live in. She made him feel ashamed of his past and she made him feel like he could always do better, try harder. She was a safe, steady rock where Poe was a caressing, carrying breeze under his wings. She had been the reason to why he hadn't left Maz's place and gone to the outer rim instead of taking BB-8 to the resistance base.

Rey believed in him so truly and so honestly, and he wanted to live up to her expectations.

Poe believed in him so truly and so honestly, and made Finn feel like he could accomplish anything.

They made him feel truly and honestly loved, and it was overwhelming.

He needed them both in different ways.  
He needed them both to keep on fighting.


End file.
